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The logical side of me knows that life is tough... Everyone faces tough times (death, sickness, challenging situations, bad news, fevers, moves, job changes ...), yet I always seem shocked and disappointed when "tough life" happens! Maybe these challenging times reach far beyond the "logic" of life and into the emotional and soul of who I am...
Life is very tough right now! Unfortunately it is only going to get harder and darker...
About two weeks ago my mother-in-law was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. This form of cancer is extremely aggressive and there is no cure. Frank will be spending lots of time traveling between Grayson, Ky. and Mascoutah, IL (7 hour drive with out the kids) quite a bit in the next year or so. This is a very sobering time in all of our lives. We all love Mamaw Caines very much! The boys of course are to young to understand what is going on; however, we are trying to call Mamaw as much a possible to let her know that we love her!
During this very stressful time in Frank's life (our entire family's life, really) I am trying to be the supportive wife, a stable mother, and be ready to do what ever I need to do. We beg you for your prayers! The whole family needs them!
While Frank was in Kentucky last week Caleb had some blood drawn. Once a month for three months Caleb has had labs drawn because of some low white blood counts. Leukemia is 10-30 times more prevalent in children with Down syndrome than in the general population, so the boys have annual blood work. In July Caleb's came back abnormal. Because they have not rushed him to the hospital, I am still hopeful that maybe this is just nothing. Having two kids with Down syndrome has taught me many things one of which is: Don't freak out until the doctors tell me it is time to freak out! So,I am trying to remain calm (easier said than done sometimes).
If small cell cancer and the possibility of a blood disorder are not enough to deal with, we also learned that our best friends of 9 years are being transferred to Japan! Not just across the United States or a few states over, no all the way around the world! "Lord, could we please slow down here so I can take a breath and catch up!" (Do you hear the shouting in my voice?) The logical side of me is excited for them! Japan will be an awesome place to live and learn about! Their kids will have an experience like no other, and they will learn about a culture that is incredible! The emotional side of me is screaming, "NO! Not now! We will miss you sooooo much! What will we do without you?!"
Life really hurts right now... The hard part is looking in the near future and realizing that this is not the darkest time yet... The only thing that I hold onto is that God will never leave no matter how tough it gets, no matter how loud I yell, and no matter what happens... He will be there!
Romans 8:35, 37-39 says, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sward?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angles nor demons, neither present nor the future, nor any powers, neither heights nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." That is my strong hold and my prayer!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Got the cruds.
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Today I have the cruds. It started a few days ago and really hit me hard after church yesterday. I am still hoping that this "head cold" is just allergies, but after sleeping in until 9 a.m. is morning and coughing up yellow junk I'm just not that so sure.
Why am I sharing this? We'll if I truly want to share my life I must be transparent. I am not a "rock start" mom all the time. I am just like other moms. I have the good, the bad, and the ugly days. Today is one of those ugly days. I have not showered yet, the boys will be watching way to much television, and I just pray neither boys has blow-out poopy diaper - just can't handle that today.
"Where is Frank?" you may ask. He is off work today thus me being able to sleep in. But, he is also in school (as well as working full time). In order for him to finish his Bachelor's in Nursing this semester he is taking a pretty hefty load of classes. He took off to the library and will check in on us every so often.
Please just say a quick prayer for us. I will get better soon. And the boys, well they will absolutely LOVE watching television all day... kids dream come true!
Today I have the cruds. It started a few days ago and really hit me hard after church yesterday. I am still hoping that this "head cold" is just allergies, but after sleeping in until 9 a.m. is morning and coughing up yellow junk I'm just not that so sure.
Why am I sharing this? We'll if I truly want to share my life I must be transparent. I am not a "rock start" mom all the time. I am just like other moms. I have the good, the bad, and the ugly days. Today is one of those ugly days. I have not showered yet, the boys will be watching way to much television, and I just pray neither boys has blow-out poopy diaper - just can't handle that today.
"Where is Frank?" you may ask. He is off work today thus me being able to sleep in. But, he is also in school (as well as working full time). In order for him to finish his Bachelor's in Nursing this semester he is taking a pretty hefty load of classes. He took off to the library and will check in on us every so often.
Please just say a quick prayer for us. I will get better soon. And the boys, well they will absolutely LOVE watching television all day... kids dream come true!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Oh, Crap!
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Yes, I am going to talk about poop! Let me educate you first. Kids with Down syndrome tend to have low muscle tone (weaker muscles). This can effect every part of their body that has muscles from their head to their toes (and everything in between). As a result of this low tone, potty training can be quite challenging. If you don't poop for a few days or a week, well you know what happens (time to eat a bag of prunes!).
Caleb is 6, and he is still not potty trained. We are working on it, but like every other aspect of his life this is just taking a bit longer to learn. Caleb does stand at the toilet to pee, and back in June we had him pooping on the toilet quite regularly. Then we took a trip to Kentucky and Caleb seemed to have left his "pooping skills" in that beautiful Bluegrass State!
The rest of the summer has been spent trying to "catch" Caleb right before he needed to have a BM, run him to the toilet, and then pray he would excrete on the pot. No luck, until this past week! After lots of singing, a few tears and even a bag of fruit snack, he did it! He pooped in the potty for the first time in 2 1/2 months. This turd was HUGE! It would have made a grown man cry, poor kid... No wonder he hates to poop!
Caleb has this great skill of waiting to use the bathroom until we are out. Most of the time I have to take him to a public toilet (nasty, I hate public restrooms!). A few days after Caleb's "successful" bowl movement we stopped by a friends house. Of course, he had to go to the bathroom as soon as we got there. What we did not know is that he had to poop! Frank spent several minuets with him in the restroom encouraging him to do his business. He did! He pooped on the potty again! We were so proud of him that we did the "potty dance" and made up a silly song about pooping. Then the flood waters came. Caleb's ginormous BM not only stopped up the toilet, it caused the toilet to overflow! The entire bathroom was flooded and the contaminated waters began rushing into the hall way. "Holy crap!"
After shop-vaccing and scrubbing their floors Frank's only comment was, "I would gladly clean an over flowing toilet if it means Caleb pooping on the potty!" Thank goodness these are really good friends! They laughed. We laughed. And Frank left them with a very clean bathroom!
Yes, I am going to talk about poop! Let me educate you first. Kids with Down syndrome tend to have low muscle tone (weaker muscles). This can effect every part of their body that has muscles from their head to their toes (and everything in between). As a result of this low tone, potty training can be quite challenging. If you don't poop for a few days or a week, well you know what happens (time to eat a bag of prunes!).
Caleb is 6, and he is still not potty trained. We are working on it, but like every other aspect of his life this is just taking a bit longer to learn. Caleb does stand at the toilet to pee, and back in June we had him pooping on the toilet quite regularly. Then we took a trip to Kentucky and Caleb seemed to have left his "pooping skills" in that beautiful Bluegrass State!
The rest of the summer has been spent trying to "catch" Caleb right before he needed to have a BM, run him to the toilet, and then pray he would excrete on the pot. No luck, until this past week! After lots of singing, a few tears and even a bag of fruit snack, he did it! He pooped in the potty for the first time in 2 1/2 months. This turd was HUGE! It would have made a grown man cry, poor kid... No wonder he hates to poop!
Caleb has this great skill of waiting to use the bathroom until we are out. Most of the time I have to take him to a public toilet (nasty, I hate public restrooms!). A few days after Caleb's "successful" bowl movement we stopped by a friends house. Of course, he had to go to the bathroom as soon as we got there. What we did not know is that he had to poop! Frank spent several minuets with him in the restroom encouraging him to do his business. He did! He pooped on the potty again! We were so proud of him that we did the "potty dance" and made up a silly song about pooping. Then the flood waters came. Caleb's ginormous BM not only stopped up the toilet, it caused the toilet to overflow! The entire bathroom was flooded and the contaminated waters began rushing into the hall way. "Holy crap!"
After shop-vaccing and scrubbing their floors Frank's only comment was, "I would gladly clean an over flowing toilet if it means Caleb pooping on the potty!" Thank goodness these are really good friends! They laughed. We laughed. And Frank left them with a very clean bathroom!
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