Help?

If you are visiting this blog for the first time, welcome! Please feel free to visit past blogs... We are a family with two "natural" children with Down syndrome...

Have you ever needed help? Some times it is really difficult to admit that help is needed... It becomes even more difficult when that help is some what abstract (when the answer is not clear cut or the answer is emotionally hard to accept). Yet... when those emotional hurdles are jumped the and help is accepted there is a bit of freshness to life... Why is help so hard to accept?

Accepting help is admitting that whatever we are doing or how we are doing is not working. Or, that our circumstance is beyond what we can handle on our own. Accepting help requires humility and honesty... it is saying, "I don't have it all figured out... I need help..."

In the past few months some very exciting things have been happening with the boys: Caleb is becoming more potty friendly, he is learning to read, and he is becoming very independent. Joshua has learned to walk, he can feed himself, and he wants to do everything Caleb is doing. The boys are making great stride and we are so proud of them! Yet they frequently need help (dressing, tying shoes, wiping, bathing, walking, staying focused, cutting food...). I give them help gladly and willingly...

A long with these very exciting accomplishments I have had to stop and admit that I could use some help. (Okay you can laugh...) We were not sure that Joshua would be walking for pre- school. He not only has low muscle tone (from the DS) but he was born with clubbed feet. We have done surgery, casting, braces... nothing seemed to help. His left foot trips him up all the time (literally). With the help of his Physical therapist we started looking into a "push chair" (wheel chair) that would be transport safe for on the bus. She was bold enough to mention that Caleb may benefit form a chair as well. (He likes flop on the ground when he does not want to do something - like in the middle of Walmart, the parking lot, church, school, zoo, park, restaurant...) Not only does he "flop and drop," he has serious sensory issues so with the wrong type of noise or touch he has a complete melt down. Please... I did not want one wheel chair let alone two! "Come on, people already stare at us! I don't want two wheel chairs for people stair at as well!" I did not say that out loud of course... but can you hear the little tantrum I am throwing?! I agreed to meet with the representative but made it very clear that I did not want "push chairs" that looked like a wheel chairs!

By the grace of God someone gave us a "transport" chair for Joshua!!! Amazing... these things are thousands of dollars. And yes, it looks like a wheel chair... I am not selfish (or wealthy) enough to say, "Sorry, I don't want this free chair because it looks like a wheel chair." We (the PT, the boys and I) meet with the "wheel chair" guy to look at options for Caleb and take measurements. Caleb was beyond crazy that day and Joshua likes to be just like his big brother. It was a fun day (do you hear the sarcasm?). We also talked about funding (we can't afford these chairs)... Insurance first than if that does not work Variety Club St. Louis' Children's Charity http://varietystl.org/ said they would help pay for it.

We could move forward.... so what was my problem? Me! I was my own problem... Emotionally I was not ready to admit that I needed help... That my boys needed a chair... "I don't want to be stared at..." "I don't want to explain..." "I don't need..." I... I... I... But it is not about me! Let's be real honest, we will always be stared at... I will always get to explain and educate about DS... and I need to be willing to accept any help I can get! Once I could see past myself the chairs became a blessing! A HUGE blessing... a back saving blessing! We are still waiting on Caleb's to arrive, but Joshua's is wonderful! No frills, but it can carry up to 100 lbs. and moves like no stroller out there (that would be because it is a "chair" not a stroller)! Even though it is way too small, there are many times Caleb has been stuck in the "chair" because he would not get up off the ground (back saving, I tell you).

Help?... yes, please, I will take all the help I can get!