Healing Tears

Welcome back!  If this is your first time reading this blog, Welcome!  We are a family with two natural sons (Caleb 7 & Joshua 4) who have Down syndrome.  Yes, the picture needs to be up dated... sigh... None the less, feel free to read through earlier posts.

We are blessed here in the St. Louis area to have a fabulous Christian radio station (Joy FM http://joyfmonline.org/).  Personally, I am not one who is gifted with any musical talent, but music touches my soul in a way that nothing else can.  No words are adequate enough to explain how a song can speak to me... So many times the artists played on Joy FM can sing what I am unable to express myself.  At times I honestly sing their songs as a prayer or expression of love to God because my "unartistic" mind could never do so it's own...

One such song is "Blessings" by Laura Story (I post the link later on).  The first time I heard this song I had to turn it off because I started to cry... and it was a day that I just DID NOT want to cry (grrrr)... Of course, I finally allowed myself to listen and to cry.  Some times I have to be in the right mood for "those" types of  tears... I call them my healing tears. The chorus goes, "Cause, what if your blessings come through rain drops. What if your healing comes through tears.  What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near."

So many moms (dads too) can relate to sleepless nights!  There is a smaller population of parents who can relate to grief-stricken sleepless nights... you are out there I know, because some of you are my friends... some of you I have cried with... some of you have comforted me... some of you have begged for the same things that I have...some of you are walking a road that is far more difficult then my own... some of you are in that "fog" now!  The truth is there may not be an answer to the endless why's or how's... if there is one thing I have come to understand it is this: there are still BLESSINGS!

Before we got the "official" diagnosis of Down syndrome for Caleb we asked the Elders of our church to pray for Caleb's healing.  They did... but God choose not to answer that pray in the way we wanted.  Rather, God choose to give us a greater gift - Caleb with Down syndrome!  Little did we know that we would be receiving another blessing of Down syndrome when we had Joshua... I begged God to heal Caleb... rather He healed me... I spent many sleepless nights with a very sick baby Joshua... God gave me strength when there was just none left in my body... I have cried tears of pain for both of my boys... but I have cried just as many tears of joy - wondering why I was chosen to be blessed with two truly amazing children with Down syndrome! 

All of my tears (anguish, joy, fear, amazement, shock, love...) have in some way produced healing in my life.  The song "Blessings" - though not written by me nor for me - says everything! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ&feature=related

Lord, I know my boys are a blessing!  Thank you for giving us the gift of Down syndrome.  Thank you for the tears that have healed my heart.  Lord, thank you for the "rain" in my life that allows me to see how truly merciful you are!  Thank you!