Super Powers

Hello everyone! My name is Betsy Caines. I have been blessed with two natural sons (Caleb 10 & Joshua 6) who have Down syndrome!

The "nerd" name (scientific term) for Down syndrome is trisomy-21. Explanation: we all get 23 chromosomes from mom & 23 chromosomes from dad. So, with trisomy-21 there is an extra #21 chromosome. For more information visit http://dsagsl.org/about-down-syndrome/ . Medically Down syndrome is considered a mutation. When Caleb (now 10) was just a baby Frank and I were joking around saying that when Caleb became a teenager he would be a "teenage mutant"...  laughing, so we would not cry, the conversation went from bad to worse.. we decided that he must have some "super powers"... because isn't that what mutants do? Have Super Powers?! Now I have two "mutants"... So what are Caleb and Joshua's "super powers"?!

One challenge that I face is recognizing and nurturing Caleb and Joshua's strengths... We all have likes and dislikes, abilities and inabilities, or strengths and weaknesses. Though it should not be a big surprise... my boys have very different personalities, thus their talents are also very different.

Joshua (my 6 year old) is... shall we say... a "leader" (bossy might be a better fit). He likes to be in charge! He enjoys being the center of attention. If I am not giving him enough of my attention when HE thinks I should he will blurt out, "Mommy, look at you!" Translation: Mommy look at what I am doing! I want your full attention, not just your head nod. I want all EYES on me! I think I am doing something great and I want you to think it is great as well! What cracks me up is that Joshua can get people to do just about anything! He has a plan and Joshua knows how to work it. He often gets Caleb to follow him in his game of "Joshua says"... He will tell you what to do and how to do it (and he is so cute, funny and demanding that lots of  people will do what he says!). So my challenge is how do I help develop the positive characteristics and discourage the negative? Joshua's bossiness can turn quickly into bullying. Ironically, I use to worry that Joshua would get bullied, never dreaming he might be the bully... We work at taking turns... We help him learn to share the spot light... We encourage Joshua to praise the accomplishments of others... I believe Joshua has the super power of being IN CHARGE!

Caleb (my 10 year old) on the other hand is much different. He loves people but does not insist on being the leader or the center of attention. He likes to be the encourager! Caleb is the ultimate greeter. He also likes showing physical affection. This can be quite an issue... with puberty knocking at the door his peers are going to be less understanding when he wants to pass out endless hugs. Once the hugging begins it is like the plague - Caleb spreads them to everyone in his path! Caleb's hugs can also have a very magical effect on people. There have been times when he has hugged perfect strangers (despite my efforts to prevent it) and they would just bust into tears! Several just simply stated, "I really needed that..." As you can imagine, I want Caleb to have a loving spirit, but there are some people that I don't necessarily want him hugging... and those who don't want to be hugged! So, then what? How do we encourage him to show love and kindness? How do we teach personal space? We are teaching him to give high-fives and to ask before hugging... We are trying to set boundaries... We are teaching him to use words instead of touching... it is a work in progress... Still yet, Caleb can put a smile on some faces that look like they have not smiled in decades! So, Caleb's supper power is LOVE!

We all been created with unique talents and gifts... So, what's your supper power?