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The logical side of me knows that life is tough... Everyone faces tough times (death, sickness, challenging situations, bad news, fevers, moves, job changes ...), yet I always seem shocked and disappointed when "tough life" happens! Maybe these challenging times reach far beyond the "logic" of life and into the emotional and soul of who I am...
Life is very tough right now! Unfortunately it is only going to get harder and darker...
About two weeks ago my mother-in-law was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. This form of cancer is extremely aggressive and there is no cure. Frank will be spending lots of time traveling between Grayson, Ky. and Mascoutah, IL (7 hour drive with out the kids) quite a bit in the next year or so. This is a very sobering time in all of our lives. We all love Mamaw Caines very much! The boys of course are to young to understand what is going on; however, we are trying to call Mamaw as much a possible to let her know that we love her!
During this very stressful time in Frank's life (our entire family's life, really) I am trying to be the supportive wife, a stable mother, and be ready to do what ever I need to do. We beg you for your prayers! The whole family needs them!
While Frank was in Kentucky last week Caleb had some blood drawn. Once a month for three months Caleb has had labs drawn because of some low white blood counts. Leukemia is 10-30 times more prevalent in children with Down syndrome than in the general population, so the boys have annual blood work. In July Caleb's came back abnormal. Because they have not rushed him to the hospital, I am still hopeful that maybe this is just nothing. Having two kids with Down syndrome has taught me many things one of which is: Don't freak out until the doctors tell me it is time to freak out! So,I am trying to remain calm (easier said than done sometimes).
If small cell cancer and the possibility of a blood disorder are not enough to deal with, we also learned that our best friends of 9 years are being transferred to Japan! Not just across the United States or a few states over, no all the way around the world! "Lord, could we please slow down here so I can take a breath and catch up!" (Do you hear the shouting in my voice?) The logical side of me is excited for them! Japan will be an awesome place to live and learn about! Their kids will have an experience like no other, and they will learn about a culture that is incredible! The emotional side of me is screaming, "NO! Not now! We will miss you sooooo much! What will we do without you?!"
Life really hurts right now... The hard part is looking in the near future and realizing that this is not the darkest time yet... The only thing that I hold onto is that God will never leave no matter how tough it gets, no matter how loud I yell, and no matter what happens... He will be there!
Romans 8:35, 37-39 says, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sward?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angles nor demons, neither present nor the future, nor any powers, neither heights nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." That is my strong hold and my prayer!
